I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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