I murdered the dance floor call the cops
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
