I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
