Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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