What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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