This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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