is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
