your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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