no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
