Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
