Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
