Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
