I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
