I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
