Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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