I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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