Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is Oprah even human
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
