I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
