Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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