whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a hot homeless man
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
