His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
