bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
