He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
