Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
