yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
