Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
