you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
