When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
