the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
