You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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