Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
