Betty ford says i'm here all night
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
