Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
