i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize