too bad you live with your parents still
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
