Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
