if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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