We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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