i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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