VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
