OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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