i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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