bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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