she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
