i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
