I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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