dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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