I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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