I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
