She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
How's work?
Spinning.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
